Rant #3 Walmart....keeping retards in America employed since 1962

I think Shane Adams had a rant about dealing with Walmart's tire department a while back. I think I just one upped him. So I have had a slow leak in one of the tires on the car. It's not chase season so it was no big deal just to air it up once per week until I had time to fix it. Well, with winter coming on I made the time to jack up the car in the garage take off the tire and rim and check the rear brakes. The only reason I chose to take the tire to Wally World is they charge $9.50 for a repair and re-balance while the other place near my home is at least double that and Tires Plus is about as much fun as getting a prostate exam from the fat hairy guy on Borat.

So, I throw the tire on the rim into the back of the truck and make the 1/2 mile trip over to the Big Dubya. I was in no hurry so I parked way off to the side and rolled the tire into the service area and proceeded to the counter. Turns out their computer system had crashed so they were filling out manual work orders. You know, the paper which was used by repair shops before Gates infiltrated lube bay. Anyhow, after watching "Steve" and "Will" flounder with other customers, I was at the front of the line after nearly 30 minutes of waiting. Will was the service writer I dealt with and this is how it went:

Me: Hi, I brought in a tire I need to have repaired. It's on the rim leaning against the fence over there. It's got a nail between the treads so it just needs a plug put in and balanced please.

Will: What is the VIN for the vehicle?

Me: I have no idea. The car is in my garage at home. It's just the tire on the rim.

Will: Well, I need the VIN for the work order.

Me: (thinking to myself..this guy is a prick) Well, Will, if you feel like walking a half mile to my house and getting the VIN so I can get a tire patched, feel free.

Will: (stares at me blankly)

Me: How about if you take my name, address, and phone number and give me a call when the tire is fixed.

Will: OK, that will work. I need the keys for the car.

Me: (thinking WTF???...this guy isn't a prick, he is an f-ing MORON). Tell you what Will, being the car is in my GARAGE at MY HOUSE, I really don't see the point in giving you the keys to the car.

Will: (stares at me blankly again).

Me: How about if you take the sticker you are supposed to put on the keys and put it on the rim instead and call me when it is done?

Will: (obviously a common idiot) Yeah, that sounds like a good idea.

Me: Have a nice day.

2.5 hours later I went back to get the tire. As the other service writer rang up the $9.50 I owed them, I couldn't help but overhear Will fumbling through another conversation with a customer who needed a basic oil change.

God bless Walmart for employing people stupid enough to be collecting welfare.

Random Rant #2 Got a small penis?

OK...this one is for all of the guys in our office whose dicks are so short they dribble piss all over the floor in the men's room. I've been in truck stop restrooms which were cleaner and there may have even been a US Senator from Idaho in a stall. Dammit, every time I go in to take a leak, I feel like I should be wearing either rubber barn boots or a bio suit.

So to all of you short peckers out there, either lean in when you are almost done at the urinal or take a newspaper and take a seat. The rest of us are getting sick of standing knee deep in your urine!! And by the way, "shrinkage" is not an excuse. It may work with your girlfriend on a cold morning, but the rest of us know the truth. Man up and piss where piss belongs.

Random Rants #1

So instead of just spewing typed garbage, (which I'm evidently good at), I'll trying grouping my periodic rants about things I see in our society under an easy to find heading from now on. Welcome to Random Rants Episode 1.

Funny how history repeats itself. For a change I'm not talking about the shows "Storm Chasers" or "Tornado Road". Last spring on a warm Saturday morning I strung video for our local Fox affiliate of what turned out to be a fatal motorcycle accident. Now about 5 months later and as winter rapidly approaches, it was no big surprise 70 degree temps and the leaf color peaking would bring out a slew of 2 wheeled warriors. I made the comment to Melinda on Friday there would be at least 6 motorcycle fatals in the metro area. I was close as there were 4. One was only about 6 miles from the spring fatal. Anyhow, as I'm watching the news last night, the ABC affiliate is doing a story on the fatals and interviewing other cyclists on their thoughts. Guess what? The majority expressed their concern over the old "cars are not seeing the cyclists" cop-out. Funny as it was pretty obvious the fatals this weekend were the results of idiots on two wheels...speed, poor judgement, inexperience. So, to all of you holier than thou motorcyclists out there, I'll make you a promise. I'll do my best to avoid hitting you after you are already sliding down my side of the road. Sounds fair to me.